I've been to work today, my friend invited me over for dinner, Paula had texted me earlier on that day asking for Kevin's mobile number, silly me I thought she was scheming with Kevin about what baby present to buy as I was 14 weeks pregnant. I'd last seen you just over a month ago, I'd sent you back to Bosnia with your birthday present as you where gonna be 50 tomorrow, I'd picked a really special card and wrote some very meaningful things in there for you as I tried to do every year for your birthday and christmas. I was meant to phone you on the Sunday of that week but I got sidetracked as a friend was going through a rough time and needed a shoulder to cry on and some advice, I really wish now I'd made that call to you as it would of been the last time I'd heard your voice. I was lying on the sofa watching the TV it was about 9pm and I was thinking about going to bed when the door bell went. I went to the door and it was Kevin, he could not get in because i'd locked up for the night, I was really surprised to see him he'd not told me he was coming home, little did I know he'd come home to tell me the news, Kevins mobile rang a few seconds after coming home and he said Neil needed to talk to me as he has something to tell me, I was really confused and sat down the sofa to speak to him, he sounded upset and I asked him if he was ok, he said he was not ok and he needed to tell me something, I remember feeling complete and utter dread I knew then he was going to tell me someone has died but I never ever expected him to say "its dad" - my world paused for a second I digested what he'd said and just screamed out in despair, I told him he was lying and it was not true but dad it was true, my soulmate, my best friend my father had been taken, so young, too soon and in the most cruelest of ways, only hours before his 50th birthday, I remembered you telling me how you did not want to be 50 but surely this was not the way to avoid it. My world collapsed that night dad I lost the other half of me, I called everyone just to ask if it was true, I asked how, why and what was I going to do. I went to bed and held your jumper all night, breathed in your smell and held it tight - 18th Febuary the day my world fell apart. xx